Berryman's Vision of Life in "The Ball Poem" and "Henry's Understanding"

Berryman's Vision of Life in "The Ball Poem" and "Henry's Understanding"


     John Berryman's preoccupation with suicide is evident throughout the course of his work.
From "The Ball Poem," written early in his career as a poet, to "Henry's Understanding," one
of his last poems, we see his self-fulfilling prophecy of suicide come full circle. Though 
written twenty years apart, these poems are remarkably similar and lead one to believe
that Berryman felt destined to die by his own hand, (or foot, rather.) The resentment he
felt toward his father manifested itself in his life through continual self-destructive action.
Alcoholism was a symptom of this nature, and his suicide was proof. The power of these 
poems is intense; their strength comes from Berryman's sense of tragic loss: loss of youth,
of childhood joy. The horrible beauty of his poetry mirrors his vision of life, an implication
that there is "something" beyond our our vision, our precarious existence.

     Published in 1950, "The Ball Poem" concerns the poet's sense of aging and maturing. 
Berryman uses traditional symbols to convey his message: ball equals youth, water equals
death, and harbour equates to the mystery of afterlife, eternity. The speaker in the poem
watches a boy lose his ball, which bounces away into the water. We know that the ball
represents the transiency of youth, as we are told "...he stands rigid, trembling, staring 
down/ All his young days into the harbour where his ball went(l.7-9)." This identifies the
harbour with eternity, which finally captures "youth."

     The boy losing his ball is seen in a process of maturation. We know this because the 
speaker tells us "No use to say 'O there are other balls' (l.5)." The boy is learning of the 
injustice of life which dictates "Balls will always be lost, little boy...(l.13)." The speaker
removes himself from the scene, having learned the lesson already. He knows the physical,
external aspect of "life" is transitory, mutable. The ball is a ball due to its vibrant property
of motion and change. The boy learns that "in a world of possessions" there is the necessity
of loss. Aging takes the game of life and bounces it away with great energy into the "water"
of mystery, and death.

     Once the ball has bounced "merrily over," the boy has begun the maturing process. His 
world, "the street" gradually becomes light again and he goes on; life doesn't end with the
loss of youth. While the boy is the focus of much of the poem, the ending speaks from the
poet's own voice in contemplation of mortality: "Soon part of me will explore the deep and 
dark/ Floor of the harbour...(l.21-22)." While the boy's world lightens after his experience,
the speaker anticipates the "dark" water. Herein we see symbolism of knowledge and 
mystery.

     The speaker in the poem, Berryman, tells us that "...I am everywhere,/ I suffer and move, 
my mind and heart move/ With all that moves me...(l.22-24)." His re-experiencing of the 
boy's lesson brings him to think of his own mortality, and he hints of suicide. The symbolism
of the whistle signifies the energy of life, the physical experience of being, while the water
signifies death and mystery: "...under the water/ Or whistling, I am not a little boy (l.24-25)."
His realization of the act of maturation and aging shows his bitter attitude toward the 
ironies of life. Berryman establishes similar themes throughout his poetry, especially 
through Henry, his literary stand-in persona of himself.

     In "Henry's understanding," written by Berryman in the final year of his life, we see what
amounts to the renunciation of hope and expression of contempt for life's comforts. Written
in the first and third person perspective, Berryman recalls the night he first imagines suicide.
The experience is interesting, as the poet-speaker is surrounded by much that life has to
offer: friends, a "good" wife, a warm bed, books, and the promise of a "hot breakfast." He is
not driven to despair by any evident forces such as physical pain or emotional upheaval; he
simply feels, "aged 32," " ....a chill at four o'clock.(l.9)."

     Henry's understanding comes as a satori flash: "It only takes a few minutes to make a man/
A concentration upon now & here (l.10-11)." If the speaker is concentrating on the "now and 
here" then there must be something within his comfortable existence that plagues him. In
"Dream Song 14" and "#149," the speaker finds life boring, and tells us he is unhappy with 
"the world." Going back to "The Ball Poem," we see the powerful effect realization has upon
the poet. He is unable to accept the ironies of life, and even surrounded by beauty and 
comfort, is unable to shake a sense of earthly injustice.

     Henry likens himself to a pained genius by contrasting himself with Bach, telling us "...it
occurred to me/ that one night, instead of warm pajamas,/ I'd take off all my warm clothes/
& cross the damp lawn..../into terrible water & walk forever/ under it out toward the island
(L.13-18)." This envisioning is nearly identical to the passage in "The Ball Poem" in which the
speaker explores eternity through death by drowning. His rejection of "warm pajamas" leads
one to notice his contempt for the external comforts. In this poem we sense the finality of 
Berryman's decision to die. He literally "strips" down past all the clothing of poetic games and
announces his intention of exploring "the island" beyond the waters.

     John Berryman's vision of life as irreconcilably ambivalent is well expressed in these 
poems. That he built his life and made his living from this bitter attitude adds irony to the 
notion that while we change, grow,  and mature, we are also losing the comfortable pillow of
childlike ignorance.



Forest Bloodgood
Dr Gridley, Univ of Kansas
10-1-1989