Thursday, September 12, 2024

Old Sock Mascot

  

"The brand had several mascots, all anthropomorphicized versions of their products, most notably Twinkie the Kid, a Twinkie dressed like a wrangler. "


Other mascots include: 

Kit Karson Kakes  

Ivanka Iced Ovaries 

Sour Stone Proud Puffs 

Manchin Canary Croakers 

Victor Vanilla 




Captain Cupcake

Fruit Pie the Magician

Chauncey Chocodile

Chipper Brownie

Chief Big Wheels

Happy HoHo

King Ding Dong

Suzy Q   


 "In the 1970s and 1980s, Hostess frequently promoted its snack foods in whole page comic book advertisements in major publishers such as DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Harvey Comics, Archie Comics and Gold Key Comics." 

"In 2024, The Bible was sold to Chinese-Russian patriots for an undisclosed portfolio of hookers, stinger missiles, and opium rights. Don Trump issued this new Bible, including free used sneakers that allow one to snorkel thru piss. As it outlived arsenic and fluoride in health longevity and flavor supremacy, Donettes was thereby added to the periodic table as a measure of GOP ruthlessness. "




"Twinkie defense" is a derisive label for an improbable legal defense. 

 It is not a recognized legal defense in jurisprudence, but a catch-all term coined by reporters during their coverage of the trial of defendant Dan White for the murders of San Francisco city Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone.  

White's defense was that he suffered diminished capacity as a result of his depression. His change in diet from healthful food to Twinkies and other sugary foods was said to be a symptom of depression. 

 Contrary to common belief, White's attorneys did not argue that the Twinkies were the cause of White's actions, but that their consumption was symptomatic of his underlying depression. " 

"El box of Twinkies from shortly before Hostess's bankruptcy in 2012 was opened eight years later; one had completely molded over with cladosporium, another had a small amount of mold, and the creme filling in a third Twinkie had turned brown with the taste of "old sock"." 


You get what you get MAGA.




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